Communication: Disarming People.

[Bryant Tutas]

Disarming people. This is skill that needs to be developed if you want to be successful in Real Estate. Unfortunately, rude and unprofessional Realtors, upset and irate customers and nasty mortgage brokers are a part of our business. Understand this, it will not get better and you will have to deal with these people for as long as you are in the business. You cannot change them, but with practice you can change yourself and how these people react to you. I’ve said this before and I will say again, “Real Estate is all about attitude”, yours, not theirs. So understand that fact and accept it.

Being able to make the best of it and being able to disarm their negativity is a skill that can be learned. If you are getting a lot of negativity in your everyday business, then maybe the problem is you. Maybe you are not handling people properly. You may be doing something that is putting people on the defensive. My goal in this post is to give you some ideas that may help you to disarm these people, to get them to drop their defenses and be more cooperative and helpful.

My example, is the Realtor who is calling in with a “low ball” offer on your listing. When you question them on this, they get defensive and the conversation goes south real quick.

Him: “This is John, I have just faxed over an offer for your listing. It may be low but your listing is definitely overpriced and my Buyer will not go any higher than this.”

You: “Uh, excuse me but my listing is not overpriced, and my Seller will not come down very far off his price.” “I’ll present it, because legally I have to, but don’t hold your breath on this one.”

Ok, this conversation is going south quickly. The chances of this becoming a deal are nil. What if you responded this way instead?

You: “Hi John. How are you doing today? Working hard making lots of money? Sounds like this buyer has been keeping you pretty busy. I don’t know how you do your job, you must be very patient to work with buyers all day.”

Now at this point, John is going to proceed to tell me how difficult this Buyer is and how he has showed him every house in town and the guy keeps making low ball offers and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You: “Wow, sounds like you have had your hands full. Well, since he is interested in this house lets see what we can do to get a deal negotiated. What are your Buyer’s main concerns? Is it price? Does he need closing costs assistance?”

Now, if you listen to what John has to say, he will give you the information you need to be able to present his “low ball” offer to your Sellers and come back with a counter offer that may work.

You: “John, thanks for the offer. I really appreciate you showing my listing. I will call the Sellers shortly to see what they say, after all it is their house and their decision to make. If we could make these decisions for our customers we would both be very wealthy.”

Now what has happened here, is, I have disarmed John. He has had a chance to vent his frustration towards his Buyer. I have complimented him on all his hard work and have got him to focus on getting this deal negotiated, if possible, and I have reminded him that the deal is between the Buyer and the Seller, not the Realtors. His attitude, though aimed at me, was not about me at all. It was about his frustration at working with a difficult Buyer and in my own way, I have reminded him of this. He is now on my side.

Now being the good Realtor that I am, I have to call the Sellers and present a “low ball” offer.

You: “Hi Mr. and Mrs. Need T. Sell. This is Broker Bryant your favorite Realtor. Did you guys have a nice day today?”

Chat for few minutes. Show an interest in their day and their lives. By the way, this can’t be faked. It must be a genuine care and concern. The point is, you must have a relationship with your customers.
You: “Want to sell a house today? I’ve just received an offer for the house. It’s low, but maybe we can put together a counter that would be acceptable. They are offering you …………….

Them: %$#@^ &*^% I’m %^& not giving *&^% my &%^#@ house away!! Are these people crazy *&%#$…………….

Do not under any circumstance interrupt someone that is venting. Never, ever, absolutely not, don’t do it. Your job at this point is to wait. Be quiet and wait. Ok, ten minutes later.

You: “Feel better? I felt the same way when I reviewed the offer. Your house is priced right and they are way low. But you know, it’s the game. It’s the Buyer’s job to try and get the lowest price they can and it’s our job, as a team, to try and get the best price for your house. So let’s counter offer and see what happens. They are qualified Buyers and I know you want to sell your house. We need to get you under contract soon so you are ready to close on your new home next month. You are really going to like it up there. Did you pick out the colors of your new home yet?”

Ok, you get my point. Stay focused on the end result. In this brief discussion, with the Sellers, I have reminded them of the urgency in getting their home sold and have focused them on their new home and upcoming move, instead of focusing on the “low ball” offer. They have blown off steam, are thinking of their future and now I am ready to sit down with them and discuss the offer and the way forward.

Folks, this is why people hire Realtors. It is our job to get our emotions and attitude out of the way and help our customers to stay focused on the end results. I could write a book on this topic but noticed this post is getting a little long, so I will end it here.

Just remember, next time you have to deal with an attitude, either yours or theirs……..Freeze!! And drop your weapon!